I'm dreading and fearing this mess

I have been on LTD since 2010 through New York Life. Since the time that my disability began I have had to have 2 additional cervical spinal surgeries and am getting ready to undergo another unfortunately. New York Life “dropped” me without good cause back in 2014 and after hiring an ERISA attorney I was reinstated on administrative appeal (the last surgery was during this process) New York Life then moved me to their Stable and Mature division. Since this time I have only had to take a form to my primary care dr once a year to fill out regarding my condition. I just received a letter with the forms to fill out for the waiver of life insurance premiums. I’m terrified that this will start the nightmare all over again. New York Life just offered me a lump sum settlement in October of 2017 which I was not interested in. My condition is quite serious and will not improve but only worsen with age, I am getting ready to turn 59. I was college educated and worked on a microscope for 20 years at my profession. Unfortunately my neck is degenerating rapidly and I keep having recurring spinal cord compression causing crippling myelopathy. Each episode of cord injury leaves me less mobile and unable to sit for any length of time without laying my head back on something. Standing is very hard on me and I must sit after just a few minutes. Right now I’m having trouble walking and holding my head up at all. Perhaps I’m being hyper cautious because of 2014 but I can’t stand to think that they will do this to me again. Maybe they will back off this time when they find out that I’m about to undergo surgery again but how likely is it that they are gearing up to drop me again? Wouldn’t that be a little obvious since I just turned down their settlement offer? My primary care dr just filled out the yearly form and stated to them that there had been a mild decline (this is before she knew that I had myelopathy again and had to return to my neurosurgeon). The form that my dr filled out was for my continuing LTD claim and not for this waiver of life insurance premium. At some point down the road (hopefully) I will not be seeing a neurosurgeon as there will be nothing more they can do for me. Most of my neck is fused and I’ve had a 2 level Corpectomy (2 vertebrae removed). Neck is full of hardware and I’ve lost at least half my range of motion to date. I will then only have my primary care dr and my GI dr (have had chronic bowel obstructions for years due to an over abundance of scar tissue). This terrifies me. I feel like New York Life will use this fact against me, the fact that I will only be seeing these 2 drs on a regular basis. I have not been under my NS’s care for the last 2 years because I didn’t need to be until the past month. Sorry for the lengthy post but I’m just so dreading and fearing this mess. Is there anything I need to know to help me navigate this? I really don’t want them “bugging” my NS’s practice for constant info about me. I had intended to send copies of my drs notes, test results and surgery info to New York Life to add to my file (after my surgery). Thank you in advance for your reply.