LFG made me lose all hope

I’ve been out of work since 8/13/18. I was on bereavement dealing with a traumatic death. I had medical issues before but work always interfered and didn’t get time to really take care of myself. Just got by Although was warned by doctors it could be detrimental putting things off. I have since suffered from PTSD and severe depression after the unexplained death. I use to be the sceptic thinking those were fake bit I assure the panic attacks and all are not. At times they are debilitating. I’ve avoided the discussion because I’m a private person but this thing with Lincoln has forced me to have to share very private medical trying to find anyone to help. Since 8/13/18 I have fallen many times sending me to a new spiral of injury and depression along with continued trauma trying to discover what happened. Add in estate lawsuits etc. Emotionally and mentally drained as well as physically limited and Financially drained. Struggling to pick and choose what doctor to see and figure out how to pay. I’ve lost all hope. I contacted tons of attorneys during the 180 timeline unable to find anyone to help. At almost the end of 180 found an attorney who stated did LTD. I paid him a retainer but since I’ve still had to spend all the money for records and do all the work it seems. I’m broke. Barely hanging on. Got my review and was denied and have until 2/4 to get additional records (within the 21 days) given to my attorney. I’m scraping money to get records to send him but have no confidence he is doing anything. I feel I’ve made a mess of my life because I didn’t take care of myself. I’m about to be 45 and my body feels like I’m 90. I have fibermyalgia, neuropathy, lymphedema, diabetes, had numerous surgery since 8/13/18. 3 vein surgery before discovering leg pain and swelling was lymphedema. Mytrovalve prolapse, sinus surgery to remove cyst in my sinus cavity affecting vision and other severe sinus issues, polyps, implant into my nose along with sinuses scraped. Have vertigo, migraines and continual sinus issues still affecting my eyesight. I’ve had galbladder removed. Suppose to have epidermal for neck and back trauma but due to recent fall and broken foot had to delay those. I have severe sleep apnea and still discovering issues trying too narrow down and get to a more functional state. Severe allergies. Also new doctor has identified I may actually have rhemetoid at their. Oh I forgot the torn rotator cuff and carpal tunnel. I’m sure there are things I forgot. Oh yeah severe memory issues and suppose to be sent to be tested for possible early dementia. ADHD. Anyways I’m sure others I still forgot. Lincoln Financial stated even with all that I’m able to perform my job duties full time. Not sure how there are times I can’t even get out of bed. I have therapy 2 days a week for back. Another for lymphedema. And another for torn rotator cuff. I’m in a doctor appt of some kind seems every day of the week and some 3 a day. Testing and follow etc. Speaking of irregular pap smears and mamograms. Going regular for those every few months to monitor cysts. I’m at the end of my rope. Lincoln has humiliated me and drained me financially physiological and emotional. I’m so down I’ll never get back up. Just ready for some help that will never come.